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The Illustrated Works of Shakespeare
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Illustrated Works of Shakespeare, The (1990)(Animated Pixels)[!][CDTV-PC].iso
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03_02
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1991-04-10
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107 lines
A Room in Olivia's House.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK, and FABIAN.
Sir Andrew No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.
Sir Toby Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
Fabian You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
Sir Andrew Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the count's
servingman than ever she bestowed upon me. I saw't i'th
orchard.
Sir Toby Did she see thee the while, old boy? - tell me that.
Sir Andrew As plain as I see you now.
Fabian This was a great argument of love in her toward you.
Sir Andrew 'Slight! - will you make an ass o' me?
Fabian I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment
and reason.
Sir Toby And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a
sailor.
Fabian She did show favour to the youth in your sight only to
exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire
in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You should then
have accosted her, and with some excellent jests, fire-new
from the mint, you should have banged the youth into
dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was
balked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time
wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my lady's
opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's
beard unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt,
either of valour or policy.
Sir Andrew An't be any way, it must be with valour, for policy I hate.
I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.
Sir Toby Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour.
Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him, hurt him
in eleven places. My niece shall take note of it; and assure
thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more
prevail in man's commendation with woman than report of
valour.
Fabian There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
Sir Andrew Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?
Sir Toby Go, write it in a martial hand, be curst and brief: it is no
matter how witty so it be eloquent and full of invention.
Taunt him with the licence of ink. If thou thou'st him some
thrice, it shall not be amiss, and as many lies as will lie
in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough
for the bed of Ware in England, set 'em down. Go, about it.
Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with
a goose-pen, no matter. About it.
Sir Andrew Where shall I find you?
Sir Toby We'll call thee at the cubiculo. Go.
[Exit SIR ANDREW.
Fabian This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
Sir Toby I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong or
so.
Fabian We shall have a rare letter from him; but you'll not
deliver't.
Sir Toby Never trust me then; and by all means stir on the youth to
an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them
together. For Andrew, if he were opened and you find so much
blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat
the rest of th' anatomy.
Fabian And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great
presage of cruelty.
Enter MARIA.
Sir Toby Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.
Maria If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into
stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a
very renegado; for there is no Christian that means to be
saved by believing rightly can ever believe such impossible
passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.
Sir Toby And cross-gartered?
Maria Most villainously, like a pedant that keeps a school i'th
church. I have dogged him like his murderer. He does obey
every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him: he
does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map
with the augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such
a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him.
I know my lady will strike him. If she do, he'll smile and
take't for a great favour.
Sir Toby Come bring us, bring us where he is.
[Exeunt.